


Memories

by sneakybike17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Confused Severus Snape, Gen, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Lily Evans Potter Lives, Love, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Plot Twists, Sad Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sneakybike17/pseuds/sneakybike17
Summary: MemoriesSomething was strange when he woke up .He couldn't remember. He looked at the dark room he lay in. It wasn't familiar at all. Nothing was known. Not the house. Not the objects. Not the aggressive man who slammed doors after him, and punched him violently, shouting insults. He flinched when he met his reflection in the mirror. The pale, sickly boy with sharp features seemed worse than he felt. He felt awful. He knew nothing. He couldn't remember anything. Nothing. His mind could think, but his memories were empty. He didn't know how long he was like that. He didn't even know who he was. He didn't know how long, and why. He was just dragged on to the next day, not bothering to think what a future could have someone without a past.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ayolen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayolen/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Nothing I Can Control](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22587031) by [Ayolen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayolen/pseuds/Ayolen). 



> yay.. I really like Ayolen's works. I was introduced by echo of Silence, and than cam across this, I liked the first prompt, so I wan to gift it. Im sorry. if this dosent make sense.. sometimes my brain moves way too fast.

The thick air burning boy's lungs with the smell of cigarettes jolted him awake. For some reason, he couldn't remember anything. Well, nothing expect for one thing. The red haired girl. He didn't remember who she was, or what she had to do with him, but he remembered her face. It was a warm happy feeling inside of him. That feeling suddenly vanished when he realized he couldn't remember anything. What's the point of remembering the face of the red haired girl when he didn't remember anything else? Severus stilled when an calm voice of a woman called out for someone called Severus. Was that him? What kind of life did he have before this? The woman opened the door. 

"I've been calling for you for hours, and you didn't reply" she angrily huffed. Severus on the other hand, was scared. Should he trust this woman? In the end of the day, it's not like he had a choice. 

"I- I don't remember anything…. Anything but this red headed girl" he cried out. The woman raised an eyebrow before creasing her eyebrows. She seemed to be in deep thinking until slowly widening her eyes. 

"You….. You stay here, you don't need your memories, no one cares about you enough to search for you" she spat before taking out a stick and restraining him to the dark room. She left without another word, leaving the boy who just learned his names minutes prior with so many unanswered questions. Severus didn't even try doing anything. What's the point of trying to escape when there is nowhere to go and no one to ask help for? He didn't even know how his past life was. 

Days went by, and the woman had definitely spoken the truth. He still didn't know anything and was kept confined to his room, one piece of loaf every two days. The only thing that held his sanity was the memory of the red - headed girl. He wanted to remember anything else so bad. But the only thing that had appeared in his memory was the girls name. Lily. He remembered the girls laugh, her personality and her beautiful green eyes. Sometimes, Severus was afraid all of this was in his head and the girl wasn't even real. Severus was pretty miserable all other times. He had unlocked himself from the chains using magic, which he only remembered because of Lily. He had a memory come back to him of him teaching magic to Lily. 

Weeks passed by, and he still couldn't remember anything but Lily. Until something changed. A new man, a sickly green shade, came into his room. The only people he saw until this point was the woman and a man who beat him raw. Who was this? For the first time in a long time, there was change. The new man had a snake right behind him when he gently touched Severus's chin.

"Shall we start reshaping your life now Severus" the snake man hissed. Now touching Severus's temple, creating new memories. Memories of Severus learning magic. Memories of Severus loosing himself in studies because it was the only way to forget some of the pain. Even though Severus didn't know the cause of the pain, this snake man was restoring his memories. 

"Hello, my name is Tom, but you will call me Dark Lord" is all he said before levitating the weak, underfed, 16 year old boy somewhere. While getting there, Severus was passing by a room, where he clearly and visibly saw two people, the same woman and the man that beat him, completely still and lifeless, on the ground. All Severus could do is gulp. He felt useless and vulnerable. He hated that he had to trust everyone that came across his path so easily, with no other option. 

Day by day, the Dark Lord restored his memories. The two people that had been murdered by the dark lord were his parents. Memories of humiliation he faced at a school. Severus should have been ecstatic, but something felt wrong. He couldn't remember what shoes Lily wore. Soon after he couldn't remember the color of her eyes. He tried to remember, but he couldn't. He had asked the Dark Lord, who simply grinned and hissed something about betrayal because of the mud blood. Severus didn't understand his at that moment, but would know later. 

~

(4 years later)

Severus remembered everything. How he lost his memories, his miserable life. His achievements at potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts, his betrayal to the dark lord. How Dumbledore wiped his memories when he knew too much. Severus had been a lonely Slytherin without friends, so Dumbledore took advantage of that. Severus joined the Dark Lord when was 13, but letting out secrets to Dumbledore for someone's safety, which he had figured out was the figure, because that’s the only memory he didn't have, or in other words, the memory that he originally had and was slowly erased. Severus learned that Dumbledore took his memories away from him when Severus figured out Lupin was a werewolf. Dumbledore had good intentions, as the Dark Lord had figured out who leaked information about Death Eater plans. But Severus didn't feel angry towards the Dark Lord for wanting to punish him. He felt angry towards Dumbledore. 

He had people that feared him, like his enemy Peter Pettigrew, now merely his servant and people that cherished him and respected him, like Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix and Rosier. His life was good. He didn't need to hide like he used to. He was truly loyal to the Dark Lord and the Dark Lord only. He felt happy, proud and accomplished, climbing up Death Eater ranks easily, without effort. No one hurt him emotionally or physically, and he was praised regularly. 

But Severus still felt empty. He still longed that warm feeling inside of him.  
Sometimes, he would do anything, even give up all his other memories to remember the figure. To tell the truth, more empty than when he had lost all his memories expect for that figure. Severus had all his memories back, but one was missing. The one memory that was so prominent when he had lost all of his memories. He couldn't even remember the figure. He was aware that he felt happiness and a warm feeling inside when he thought of the figure. But Severus was completely cold. The memory that he cherished was getting blurrier and blurrier, it was terrifying. 

On the outside world, much had happened. The Dark Lord had unlimited power. Dumbledore, along with the the chosen one's mom were imprisoned. The chosen one, along with his father was dead. He had destroyed the Dark Lords horcruxes but couldn't defeat the lord himself. Severus was the Dark Lord's right hand man, happily serving his master for life. He didn't have any memory of Lily Potter (neé Evans) and nor did he care. He no longer even remember the warm feeling the memory brought him. 

He hated the very thought of the warm feeling he wanted to have no memory of even having a memory. Severus bowed deeply looking at the powerful lord. The lord smiled at Severus, petting his hair, motioning him to sit down in a nearby chair. Severus felt fulfilled, and useful. His Patronus, a marvelous bat, proved his loyalty to his Lord. Helping to make his Lords dreams come true brought him true happiness. The Dark Lord was so confident he had claimed if anyone killed him, they could take his spot. All the death eaters liked this idea. Most of them wanted to only serve the most powerful anyway.

~  
(another 2 years later)

That's when the feared Dark Lord made the wrong move. The wrong move by saying "I love the lilies outside in the garden, my dear Servant"

Severus would have collapsed at the rate how fast his memories came. 

"LILY" he howled and the Dark Lords red pupils dilated. Severus remembered everything. He remembered why he betrayed the lord at 13. Lily. He loved Lily. He remembered now. The figure, coming to life. The red headed girl laughing along with him. The green eyes that made his insides warm. The warm feeling he hated. NO. The warm feeling he loved. The warm feeling he knew the name of now, at age 20. 

Love. 

Severus didn't waste any more time betraying the Dark Lord for the second time. Severus didn't know what he was doing, but he had killed the Dark Lord. He was in a frantic, but would have done the same thing over if he had another chance. The Great Lord Voldemort had under estimated the power of love. Love that could bring back memories that were never to be seen again. Soon enough, Severus was throned the new Dark Lord. But that wasn't what Severus wanted. He went to the prison cell where his love was kept. 

"Sev" , the sweet voice cried. 

Severus didn't say anything but hugged her. It rekindled the fire in-between them that they had burnt out their 5th year. It wasn't a romantic hug, just platonic, nevertheless a sisterly love. True love. 

True love that wasn't deep rooted in fear.


End file.
